Month 9 Day 31

Notebook entry

meet teachers and Garrison support unit operations officer, five guys at class, meet with executive officer implicate operations officer, corps intelligence officer and general.

Journal entry

I met up with the teachers in the morning. There are two inspectors here from Kabul.  I tried to find Salim, but he was no where in sight.  In the morning.  I did take the headmaster to see the GSU OpsO.  He is a bit of a weak sister.  To hear him tell the story, he is living in squalor and the Afghans are treating him horribly, but when you go speak to the GSU OpsO with him the story becomes more clear.  The GSU only has 10 out of the about 50 tents on camp.  They have already dedicated one for the teachers, half of which is a classroom and half of which is their living quarters.  The headmaster also complains that they refused him water, but in fact they merely asked him to carry his own bottled water from the truck to his tent. He was unwilling to do this, he wanted a soldier assigned to carry his water for him.  I think he was born into quite a priviledged Kabuli family.  He probably had servants at home, and was certainly rich enough to go to college.  His expectations of how he should live, he wants his own shower, a container, running water, are simply beyond what is available. 

Three of our most capable officers have been selected to work in the Combined CoC, the Tachnique [Mechanic], the Malweni Mohabra [deputy communications/radio], and the Amer Engineeri [head of engineering].  Robbing peter to pay Paul.  It will look decent, but will it do anything, and will it help them with their jobs after we leave?

At 1400 I went to speak to the XO about the HUMINT source money.  I showed him the forms that Razaq supposedly signed while he was purportedly sick in India.  He claimed that they were merely backdated.  He fingered the S-3, the Corps G-2 and the General as culprits.  He said that the General took at least 60,000 Afghani himself and then told Razaq to sign for it.  I told him my concerns about band-aiding the problem.  He agreed, but he said if you think there is corruption now, wait till the Americans leave.

In the afternoon I went out to inspect their class and there were only 5 students.  The supervisors from Kabul were there and they did an on-the-spot inspection of some of the students, they could not do basic subtraction nor could they reliably put together words.  The inspectors said they were doing worse than the guys in Kabul and the Police they had seen in Lashkar Gah.  They believed this was not entirely the teachers fault, that the extended leave periods also set back literacy progress. 

Tried to work with Salim, but he was in bad shape, he had a tooth pulled and was in a lot of pain.  I suspect they didn’t use anesthetic.

Month 9 Day 29

I tried to meet up with the teachers again, and again class was not in session.  It was the time for class, but they claimed that all of their students had been let out (this is 40 minutes into what is supposed to be an hour-long class). 

I did some digging about this prisoner, he was some guy with some connection to the Taliban foud with three AK-47s.  The legal officer was not tracking on him.  He didn’t realize he was in lock-up.  Salim was gone toMarjeh, as was the XO so I couldn’t speak to them. 

It is very difficult to train people when they are not around.

I kind of got into it with Capt Brawny again yesterday about retirement. He’s like “I contracted with the USMC and agreed that I would be able to retire at 20…” I’m like “really, I don’t remember signing any such thing. No one promised you pay raises, benefits etc, a statute appoints you and a statute pays you, if they change either of those statues then, they are ok to do that, it’s not a contract.”

The power kept cutting in and out, and with my guys absent there was little that I could do.  To be honest I was ok with that.  I am tired, really tired, and I am in an existential funk.  Saying it like that makes it seem like an overeducated, pampered college student problem, maybe it is.  I don’t see the point of all of this, that should be no surprise, but I have been wrestling with the broader point of existence.  Is it God? OK, but why, ‘we are built to serve him and make him happy’ ok, well outside of that making God seem like quite a self-absorbed guy I still don’t really get it.  I don’t viscerally understand why, and most important, why me, if that is the generic task for everyone, then why is my existence essential.  Could it be something else, could it be as simple as the selfish gene and it’s desire to replicate, reproduce more efficiently and enlightened self-interest.  While that may be true it is equally hollow, especially for a guy who will probably not have kids, try to cull other’s bloodlines, etc. 

I get into a pattern of work.  Just find things to do, things to pass the time, things to try to do my job because I know I am supposed to but it all lacks meaning.

I am tired

Month 9 Day 28

Notebook entry

Teachers, met with three/nine, stuff with regimental combat team, after action report, biometric automated tool set, Naikpai threats, teachers no class (already left), prisoner no impact no idea, executive officer and intelligence officer gone

Journal Entry

Suzan brought up a good point when we talked this morning.  I mentioned that I thought that I might get free tuition in California because I am getting the combat action ribbon (after further research this is not the case).  But it seems like I am milking the system.  Maybe my principled stance is in fact bullshit.  I do think that we get paid too much for the benefit we give the country.  I do think we get a lot of benefits, but I haven’t turned in my paycheck, I haven’t paid back my GI Bill.  Maybe I’m just as bad as the rest of them, my motivations are just as muddled, they started out as God, Country and Corps, now its that and getting paid, maybe as we continue on in this it changes for everyone.  Maybe by the time you get to CaptBrawny’s number of years those idealistic goals are completely gone.  I spoke to him yesterday about Sec Gates possibly raising the age at which military guys get a pension until they are 60.  That didn’t sound unreasonable to me, it is what everyone else gets.  He said, sure it makes sense for someone who hasn’t done the time.  Maybe we don’t start as mercenaries, but we all become them. Maybe it’s a creeping thing that you don’t ever notice and you get used to saying God, Country and Corps, but silently, smoothly the self slips in and grows to consume the others.  They still sit in your mind as idle platitudes but that is all they are. 

Maybe I am a hypocrite and just as bad as them, but the thing is about a hypocrite, you should still listen to them because they are still right no matter their faults, but I know that people don’t. 

20110528

I met up with the teachers.  They told me their class schedule. It was during the time that I was meeting with them and there was only one student in the room.  They were saying that the rest of the students regularly get pulled from class for missions, formation etc.  This is understandable, but there does not seem to be a lot of flex in the schedule, they only really have one night class. 

The new mentors from 3/6 I think it is came out, they are going to Marjeh.  The intel mentor was an 0302 2ndLt who was pretty useless.  He was not really interested in listening to how things worked and what he was going to face, he was more interested in trying to make the ANA look just like the USMC.  He was also just told that he was going to be taking on the intel mentorship piece that morning.  You will get out what you put in…

I took the IED that hit my truck and the video scout back to the RCT.  Maj Hesco completely ignored me when I walked past.  I think he is really jealous.  Hah

The BATs system was down hard and Lekic did not let me know.  He just sat in front of two dead computers for two hours.  He is a good kid, but he can really be a Lance Corporal at times, by which I mean he will do exactly what he is told, nothing more and nothing less.

I proofread a piece of Naikpai’s application to go to America.  As part of it he had to let them know whether he had any threats made against him.  Interestingly he believe that the Army has been infiltrated by the Taliban, that the ANA knowing  him is enough of a threat for him to fear for his life.  He also mentioned pictures taken of him by locals and threats he received while working on a tip line.  I feel for these guys.  I do, but I can’t get over the fact that we are causing a major brain-drain on the country by taking them out while moving them to America where they will only be marginally employable.  They are brilliant for Afghans, but no where near the standard they need to be for America.

Brian's most prized kill, a rat that had plagued our tent